STORY: Breakfast at Night

So, I've been on a (so-called) diet for the past 3 weeks now and I haven't seen much change since then but I keep fooling myself to believe that just because I started eating Fitnesse cereal (for the past 4 days and not even regularly) that I have become significantly slimmer. To add to my silliness, I eat the cereal with regular milk at midnight! Plus, last night, I ate my bowl of cereal with 3 whole cookies (and not regular cookies, Keebler Chocolate Lovers --- that means its got twice the number of chocolate chips than the regular one!)

My Midnight snack yesterday

My all time favorite cookies - just in a different variant -- KEEBLER! :)
The only consolation I have is that I know I'm still sane since I can still figure the silliness happening.

Anyway, since sem break officially started Monday afternoon (actually even the weekend before that), I have been having midnight fixes basically since I'm up until about 4 in the morning so getting hungry is inevitable. The bad part is that I eat like it ain't midnight. Just earlier I ate a part of an 8" burger at 1130pm! How the hell is that going to get burned? No, it won't! It will just settle at the bottom of my already bulging stomach and turn itself into fat. 

But you know what, I think I'm going to throw all body conscious thoughts out the window for a while. I've been drowned in school and non-school work for months now so I'm just going to spend the few days I have to enjoy life... yes, life. I'm going to sleep all day and watch all the shows I've missed out on. Then on the weekend, I'm going to go out with people I haven't seen in a while (hopefully, they're available and won't treat me like I've done them -- me being busy, I always had to pass). 

Its quite sad that I missed out on a lot the past few months when the reason I'm doing all that I've been doing is so I could do the things I want when, all along, I could have just been doing them already. Was that clear? You know, we work so hard because we want something but along the way, we forget that reason and we just work and work. That's why sometimes even if what we want appears on our doorsteps, we ignore them because we are too caught up on the things we are doing now. This is not even about just the past months. This is about my life, all our lives in general. We forget the reasons why we wake up early and sleep late, why we put up with horrible people and hurt the nice ones, why we invest in expensive clothes and gadgets and deprive ourselves of the things on our Christmas wish list... all that stuff. We forget. And when we do, life just seems tiring and we just want to get everything over with.

I'm grateful, truly grateful for this break. It gave me a chance to remember. To make myself realize why I've been committing myself to all sorts of tasks and foregoing dates with friends and loved ones. This is because I want to graduate and not regret not doing anything. I want to graduate and say that I couldn't have been a better student. That way, I can get a good job and treat all the people I care about. That when we go out, I could get the tab and make them feel special. Even if I've been making them feel unwanted, a bother or not special because of all the things I have to put first, I hope they realize that this is all for them, too. 

Woah, where did all that come from? Better stop now before I start babbling about destiny and finding one's purpose in life. Now, back to my gigantic burger.... would've posted a picture but I've dug into it before I could so let your imagination do that for you instead. :)

P.S. I also do all that I do (school and non-school commitments) because that's just the way I am. An achiever, they say. I find the most satisfaction in doing all things that I humanly can... and doing it well. But that's a whole new story... maybe next time. 

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