THEORY: Weighing Scale

For the past days, I haven't been sleeping or eating well. I would wake up early even if I slept late and I would either overeat or not eat at all. Actually, I just didn't function well. I would be super happy and energetic one minute and sad and tired the next. But really what was keeping me off balance was my constant weighing of pros and cons regarding the situation I was in.

Every day I would list down in my head the same pros and the same cons and end up with one side of the scale heavier than the other... a different one each time. After days of thinking and thinking, I got really frustrated. I didn't know what to do. I would be on the pro side one day and then on the con side the next. So for the first time in a long, long time, I sought advice from people. I finally admitted to myself that I can't solve this problem alone.

The advice I got were contradicting with each other. You would think that this would confuse me more... and you thought right. For another day or two, I factored in what other people had to say and that just made my listing of pros and cons much more complicated. So again, I was left frustrated.

So you might be asking now, "So how did you make a decision already?" Well, I stopped weighing the pros and cons. I realized that what I was doing was pointless since proving that one side outweighed the other didn't guarantee my happiness. I realized I was weighing the wrong things. I should have weighed where I would be happiest. And that was what I did.

I admit that the decision I made still makes me jumpy and scared and a little crazy sometimes but I guess that just comes with it. I realized that happiness doesn't come easy, because like everything else in life, you have to work for it. The decision also made me realize how I took for granted how happy I was before, so now I am going to put a lot more value on it.

I'm not as happy as before, but I'm the happiest that I've been in days. I know my fear and crazy thoughts will eventually go away and I know that will take some time. But here's hoping I don't ever have to consult my hypothetical weighing scale again because I'm just going to be too happy to care.

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