STORY: Thank You!

Its amazing how God plans everything out for us... but it takes a lot of faith and determination for one to realize that. Its because only when one has reached the end, when one has stuck herself through all the challenges thrown her way, when one has refused to give up when she had all the logical reasons to, that she is finally able to look back and see how everything happened for a purpose.

Truly how quickly time flies. Its as if yesterday was just freshman year, filled with confusion and anxiety, full of hope and dreams. Now, four years and a ton of blood, sweat and tears later, I find myself with answers and assurance, and satisfaction and joy from hopes and dreams fulfilled, even far more than I ever thought of achieving! Now, I understand why I was grouped with certain people in different stages of my life, why I had those terror professors and pull-your-hair-out-difficult subjects, why I took positions I didn't plan on taking and ended up loving, why I had to lose and didn't have to win each time... it was because all of those would lead me to something I never thought I would have.

My heart is overflowing with joy and gratitude for all the amazing things that have been showered upon me by the Lord... and I am well aware that it was through the people that the Lord had put into my life that everything happened according to plan. Allow me to thank the people who have directly or indirectly, consciously or unconsciously helped me be where I am today.

First of all, thank you to all my professors. From my general education subjects to my major subjects, the knowledge and experience I will bring with me will forever be part of me. Thank you to Ms. Batallones, for making me feel like I was a great writer by always putting notes on my essays and for writing my recommendation letter when I applied for Student Council, to Ms. Sioson for teaching me the basics of note cards and citing sources which was of great help during thesis days, to Mr. Delupio for the challenge his class presented every other day of the week, to Mr. Floresca for one of the most entertaining classes on ATP cells I will ever have, to Ms. Encar and Ms. Gigi for giving me an A- in Physical Education even if I was well prepared to get a D on Aerobics and Latin Dances, to Ms. Usog for the discussions that pushed to think about the situation of men and women in society, to Ms. Tacsagon for her humor and patience during Statistics, to Mr. Llorin for all the discussions we shared in and out of the classroom about Philosophy and more, to all the general education professors I have failed to remember at the time of this writing, thank you!

To the professors who have guided me in my journey as a Mass Communications student, know that whatever I contribute to the world I will be joining, I owe to all of you!

To Sir Pozon for the "insider" look into the amazing world of Advertising and for the awe he always demands when he enters the room. To Sir Lester for being the role model I really needed - I had no concrete idea of what I wanted to be and after meeting sir Lester, I now know for sure. To Sir Gabs for all the encouragement he has given me, for the support inside and outside the classroom and for being the coolest and hippest professor and moderator of PAX 2012. I asked him last minute to be moderator of PAX and I am forever thankful that he said yes. :)

To Sir Chally for his humor and charm which seemed impossible to mix with Law of Mass Media. To Sir Mike for being the crazy enough to take on mission impossible with Team RaRaRa. I was convinced I would not see graduation day when your words of encouragement helped me pick up the pieces and pushed me and my thesismates to give it another shot. Thank you sir for all the 'speeches' that made me tear up, for the guidance and for being our 'thesismate' as well. To Mr. Rondina for opening my eyes to the wonder of Filipino film through Cinemalaya, for our "comedy bar" of a class, for the pressure he put on me and everyone so that we can all get the job not just done, but well. To Ms. Wowie, for teaching communication theories easy enough for me to understand and for sharing personal examples for me to remember the theories better. I am still deeply touched by the ice cream she shared with the EnviSoc members and officers after the outreach program of the organization because she said we deserved it. I had no idea who I could go to to take on the position of moderator so I'm thankful that by some amazing way Ms. Wowie ended up taking on the job. To Ms. Abanto, for everything. I never thought I would feel so much adoration for a professor in my life until I met Ms. A. I may not be as close to her personally as she is with her other students but that has not affected how much she has and will continue to impact my life. I was afraid of her, as everyone was during their first encounter with Ms. A, but as weeks went by, I could only feel respect for the determination, passion and dedication that I have witnessed. I can only hope to be half the person Ms. A is yet I will hope still. I will forever be grateful for all the trust and encouragement I got from her which made me believe in myself and allowed me to let others see what she saw in me.

I am grateful that the "heavens" (yes, heavens) somehow lured me into joining extra-curricular stuff. My life in St. Scho would not be complete without all  my "added" jobs and I have a number of people to thank for making these jobs' responsibilities all worth the trouble.

 To Ms. Carbon for the trust in my talents and for faith in my ability to get the job done. For supporting me in all my extra-curricular endeavors and for making my college experience one I will never forget. To the Student Council 2010-2011, my SC Sisters - Ate Mimah, Ate Kim, Krista, Ate Margaret, Berni, Ding, Celine, Jojo and Raine for making my first dive into the pool of student leadership an amazing one. I joined the student council for personal reasons and ended up loving the job and being willing to serve the student body with all my heart, Special thanks to Ate Mimah for being my model of what a good leader should be. Most, if not all my leadership roles have been modeled after what I have seen from her. If I have been a good leader, part of the applause goes to her. To my Environment Society Executive Committee, my EnvisocLoves! Getting recognition as an outstanding organization president and for amazing performance as an organization is not a lone success. I owe it to each and every one of you in my amazing team - Jaimee, Pya, Sarah, Pau, Gen, Ica, Minky, Jes, Karl, Pam and Emirose. Special mention to Pau for going beyond the call of duty and filling in where I have failed to attend to, to Ica for exceeding my expectations and for pulling off one of the best activities of the organization, to Jes for always doing tasks with urgency, and to Sarah for the structure and organization you have contributed through all your financial reports and OCness. To my PAX 2012 EB - Berna, Maica, Kath, Pau, Karl, and Kenneth, thank you for bearing with me! Our job isn't over and we still have a month or two as a team but I would like to thank all of you as early as now for putting up with my temper, my demands and my not-replying to your texts. PAX 2012 is far from being "perfect" but I am still absolutely proud of what we were able to come up with. We have exceeded expectations based on the previous years and that itself is an amazing feat! We have some bits and pieces to put together before our baby, the yearbook, is ready for the world to see so let's get working! Thanks Berna for all the ways you have helped me (I couldn't even enumerate all the things you have helped me with), Kath for the amazingly organized system you have created for all of us, Maica for doing everything  I ask of you and Pau for not breaking down on the pressure I have put on you! :) Thanks also to Lynch and the rest of the PAX 2012 staff for all their assistance in making this year's yearbook and grad photos the best it could be.

Of course, even the most unsociable person like me is bound to gain friends along the way. These people have made everyday school life a much memorable experience to look back to years later.

Thank you to Redge, Tanna, Val, Angie, Jes and Minky for being my first circle of friends. We have gone in and out of groups throughout the years but when I will never forget the people I shared my first lunches with, my figuring out where the buildings were, which professor is who... I have come to know SSC with you guys by my side.

To 4MCAdvertising, thank you! We may not be as close as I would have loved us to be but being around people who share the same passion for creativity has always inspired me. Ever since we were put together, the feeling that everyone is on the same page has only helped me realize how much I am in the right track. Thank you for inspiring me and making my journey as an Advertising student a wonderful one. But I'd like to give a special shout out to Kekx, for showing me how much I can appreciate and be wowed by a style that is far from my own, for showing me that there are people like me - weird, loud and will die without a photo and video editor, a good printer and a decent laptop, for critiquing videos and photos together and for everything else I have failed to mention. I'd also like to give a mention to Jana, who I still do not understand why I am friends with. We are opposites in every way yet I find myself amused by her stories and laughing at her jokes. Even if she bullies me and makes fun of my 'goodie goodie" ways, I have felt concern and affection from her that I have not felt from a friend before. I am not one who uses the term friend loosely but I think friend is the only term I can think of that best describes how Jana is part of my life now.

To my thesismates - Pya and Minky, thank you! We have shared the past year and a half of sleepless nights, random playlists, desperate research moments and joyful discoveries together and I stand by my statement that I could not have had better people by my side. We may have had our arguments and disagreements but none were far greater than the positive chemistry we had. Thank you Pya for all the patience and understanding, for putting so much effort into the thesis than I could have ever asked for from a partner. This thanks extends to all the roles you have played in my life beginning our first year days when we sat side by side in CommArts under Ms. Batallones up to the day we stood in front of a crowd to present our baby, our thesis... also your EVP duties in EnviSoc. You have been a great part of my college years and I know in my heart that I will never forget you... printed on hard bound cover pa yan! Together for life... just look in the library and there you'll find our names side by side to the very end. Of course, how will I ever forget the biggest part of my college life in the person of Minky. I still do not comprehend how we are still friends after all the spats we have had throughout the years. I believe our fights have become too many to count or even recall! But I guess you only get into arguments with the best of your friends. I have known Minky since first year and I have gone in and out of circles of friends and only Minky remained. She has seen me through it all - from my cotton buds of a hair to my curly locks, from my no make up look to my now perfected eye brows, from my quieter self to my now noisy and crazier version... and I have seen her through it all as well! I guess what we share is something I cannot explain. I just know that when we are together, just the two of us, we are okay, we click and we just work that way. I have a feeling that as have been in the past fours years, I will go in and out of friendships but Minky will remain.

This has been a very long post so if you managed to reach this point, I thank you as well... For taking the time to go through all the people that have become part of my journey. I think I have said thank you countless times throughout this post already yet my heart is still bursting with gratitude for all the people mentioned and those I have failed to list down. Once again, thank you! As I look back on the years past, everything has become clear and all my questions are answered. Now, I look straight ahead into the future, with new feelings of confusion and anxiety, with new hopes and dreams... but now with the wisdom that all of this will be understood in time... that I will have to go through a new set of challenges to reach the end... the end where I can look back and realize the purpose of it all and write yet another lengthy post for all of you to read.

I do not know how to end this any other way than with a heartfelt "that in all things, God may be glorified!"

THEORY: Perhaps

"Its funny how you speak of community yet you are elitist, how you speak of humility yet you are proud, how you speak of transparency yet you are corrupt, how you speak of me when you fail to see you"

I know I am not perfect. I know I am as proud, loud and irritating to be around as the next person. And I know that I am an even worse person than the people I am disappointed with... but the difference is that I know I am flawed and I do not pretend that I am not. I do not preach about humility when I know I am more arrogant than Kris Aquino, I don't talk about patience when my temper is so short I don't even have time to count to ten to cool down, and I don't talk about kindness when I know that I am as hard as a rock when it comes to caring for others.

This is why its quite odd for me to see others talk about things they apparently do not understand. But perhaps I am simply jumping to conclusions. Perhaps this is simply how things work out. Perhaps.

THEORY: Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time there was a girl. A girl just like any other girl who believed in Disney movies and happy endings, in good winning over evil and lifelong friendships, in hope and in true love. There used to be many of her kind. They would be seen in groups gathering in corners of classrooms and giggling over life’s many wonders that are yet to unfold before them.

But one by one they vanished. Others are still around though, wandering and searching, still hurt and lost from the harshness of the grown up world they did not expect. They struggle to find they were back but it appears that the world is stronger than their hearts. Others appear as they always were, happy and smiling, as if they were able to survive the world better than the others… but inside they are completely different people. No longer do they gather in corners and giggle over wonders they know aren’t all that wonderful. Others are even less fortunate because they vanish completely… as if their existence were a myth. No trace of the persons they once were. No twinkle in the eyes and no hope in their hearts.

But this girl, the girl of this short tale, she thought different. She honestly believed that nothing wasn’t going to break her… that not even the world can make her stop believing in Disney movies and happy endings, in good winning over evil and lifelong friendships, in hope and in true love. She refused to believe the tales of those ahead of her and around her about how it is simply the fate of her kind to be broken… that the world is not the place for their kind, that they were destined to be extinct.

For a time, this girl amazed everyone. She was called a fool for refusing to believe reality but people bit their lips when year after year as many of her kind broke down and she remained strong and steady. She still had twinkle in her eyes and hope in hearts that was as true as day one. People started to believe that maybe it was possible… that her kind could survive the world… and the best part was that this belief made the girl believe in herself even more. The positivity of everyone reinforced her belief that maybe she could survive this world unscarred. But it appears that she was just meant to take a higher fall. She was just meant to be hit twice as hard for reaching a higher peak. In the end, she was the biggest fool of them all.

She’s still around, if you’re wondering whatever happened to her. Some may still recognize her, some won’t. She looks at life with a skeptical eye these days, always asking more questions than necessary and always thinking of things that shouldn’t be thought of. Sometimes though, for a split second you catch a glimpse of the girl she was… then she’d blink and talk to you then you would realize that the girl of yesterday will just remain a memory of her… that this girl has vanished like the rest.

You would still hear her talk about Disney movies and happy endings, in good winning over evil and lifelong friendships, in hope and in true love… but know she no longer believes them. 

Once upon a time there was a girl and she was a girl just like any other girl. The End.