THEORY: Fear of Joy

Yes, you read that right - Fear of Joy.

This is just one of those random thoughts that pass through my mind when I find myself getting ready to sleep. You see, I say my prayers at night and some nights when I thank God for everything in my life, I find myself scared about having a lot to thank for. Scared that I might be reaching my quota on happiness and that the blessings I've been receiving will have to be put to stop for awhile to give chance to others who aren't as happy as I am. Sometimes, when I'm so happy with my life, I wish I wasn't... because when everything is going too well and everything is moving forward, you are bound to reach the end sometime, you are bound to reach the top... and then you have to fall back a little to have some more room to move forward.

I'm afraid to move backward. I've been there and it took me twice, if not thrice, as long to move forward as it took me to fall back. I don't think I am ready for that again and I'm very sure I'm not at all challenged by the idea that something bad is on its way.

I never thought fear and gratitude would mix but apparently, it could.

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