THEORY: Let The Feelings Talk

I just want to cry now. I'm not even sure why but its the only physical action I can think of that would help lessen the feelings I have right now. Ugh, feelings! Why do I have too many of it?

 This constant proving of myself, this trying to assure myself that I am deserving of where I am, and this fighting not to be replaced is getting very tiring and draining, not to mention painful. Its a challenge at first, yes, exciting even. But eventually the excitement wears off and you end up just wanting to be secure. You want to feel that you belong and to know that your spot isn't always going to be taken by somebody else.

Its a silly "first world" problem, really. While everyone is wondering where to find shelter and what food to eat, debating about national issues like Corona's blood sugar or protesting about how Jessica Sanchez lost on American Idol, here I am being silly. But right now, I don't really give a damn if I'm being silly. Yes, I said a bad word right there. I shall reprimand myself later but for now, I'll let the feelings do the writing. I'm in pain right now and there is just so much a girl who swore she was in control of her emotions can handle.

And by the way, I'm talking about two things and its amazingly unfortunate that I am going through this feeling at the same time in two different situations. Oh, life.

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