THEORY: Describe Hurt, Please

I always hear people say that they are hurt. Heck, I keep talking about hurt in this blog! But really, how does hurt feel? I mean, there is scraping-your-knee-and-it-stings-when-you-put-medicine hurt and there is this other kind of hurt that hasn't been as explained or described. Well, to me at least. So, when I say I'm hurt, what do I actually feel? 

I'm going to take a moment to just feel everything, just so I can describe it. I guess this would be helpful for people who haven't experience the kind of hurt I'm talking about (good for you!). Just so they know that there are far worse aches in this world that would make scraping your knee feel like falling into a thick, fluffy hotel bed.

Well, it starts with an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your stomach. It's like there is pressure building up (and no, I'm not talking about gas) and that it's trying to rise. You could feel it (whatever IT is) move around inside you, and after a while, it starts to go to your chest. It's feels like the air is squeezing your lungs in, making it difficult to breathe. As you inhale and your lungs expand, it gets more painful. A little later, it feels like the pressure is squeezing your heart, like it's preventing your heart from beating. Then all of a sudden, the blood running through your veins feel like they just stopped. Your arms and legs feel paralyzed and weak, while your hands and feet turn cold (and it doesn't matter that it's burning hot outside). Sometimes, you even shiver, like a cold air just passed through your spine. Sometimes, your hands begin to shake uncontrollably. But those are occasional. Sometimes you get lucky and you actually have some sort of control over your body's vibrations. However, crying is guaranteed. Whether you feel like you have to cry or not, you just do. From your chest, the pressure creates a knot in your throat. You try to swallow it but it just won't go away. Speaking has become so difficult you just mumble words - words even you can't understand! Then, the pressure reaches your head. Your temples feel like they are going to burst and your skull feels like a hot air balloon filled with hot air, just ready to take off. Your eyes begin to heat up as well, which is about the same time you begin to cry. Sometimes it's the poise, slowly-rolling-down-the-cheek type but most times it's the ugly cry when your lips form these weird curves you didn't even know you could do, when your eyes form ugly squints that hardly show any eyeball, just unsightly eye bags folded over each other. And your nose! It cringes like your bridge is going to crack. Then eventually, your eyes begin to sting from all the wiping. And you just don't even try to keep the tears from wetting your pillow (sometimes even your snot, because really, who cares if you look like crap? I mean, you feel like crap so might as well let it show)

Usually, the 'hurt" ends with sleep. Not because you have released it or you have resolved it, but because your body has just given up. You wake up the next day slightly relieved from the momentary escape, but it only takes a few minutes for good old brain to remind you that the hurt isn't over.

Really, if this is the world's way of getting back at me for not having experienced as much scraped knees, bruises and cuts when I was a child, then please, I would have preferred that! Scrape my knee, bruise my arms, cut my fingers but please, spare my heart. I don't think I have medicine for that.

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