STORY: F the Formula!

It's sad that in this day and age, there are more and more formulas for everything.

I know formulas are supposed to simplify our life and make things easy. Hey, check 9gag out for example. After scrolling through a few posts, you could very well be a funny person just by following meme formulas. But these same formulas also create restrictions. If a formula becomes accepted and embraced by the public, it becomes very hard to come up with something new or try something new. You could only imagine how many memes didn't reach the hot page because it was new.

Anyway, this post is about something far more relevant than 9gag (although 9gag has proven itself relevant in its own way as evidenced by the countless hours it has saved me from boredom). This post is about life and how even the broadest of all topics can be narrowed down to a single formula. Let me show you.

Your life is the orange bar. Your parents' is the one above yours and your kid's below yours.

You see, everyone follows the same pattern, and our lines just overlap with our children's and our parents' lines. Isn't it enough that we all come and go from this earth the same way? Why does the stuff that happens in between have to be the same as well? Am I the only one frustrated about this? The worst part is that each part of the formula has a deadline. You have to finish college by 20, get a job immediately after, get married in 4 to 5 years and have 2 kids by the time you hit 30. Stop and rewind, please!!! What's with all the deadlines and schedules? 

I have nothing against this formula. It is a perfectly wonderful life to live, with marriage and kids and all that. I mean, it has proven itself to be effective and many lives have found peace at their death beds knowing they spent their years on earth with this formula. So, there. Fine, the formula is okay but why must society force this formula down my throat? down everyone's throats? Why must people pressure me to do things at a certain time when I'm not ready or when I simply don't want to? Why am I a failure or a burden or a disappointment if I choose to travel around for the rest of my 20s and get married (if I ever plan to) when I reach my 30s? And don't even get me started on my biological clock. I don't hate kids and I don't mind having kids but I don't plan to cram my life just to have them. If it is in my books to have children, it will happen and it will happen when I am ready for it to happen. I do not appreciate the whispering the elders do at family gatherings or the asking that friends will continue to do until I give in and do what they expect me do. That is not how life is supposed to work (well, I think)! 

It's so frustrating having to explain my life choices to people. I know I'm only 20 and the most life choice I've made is where I'm working now, but still, I could already feel the pressure of people around me. I try to create an image of the life I want to look back to 50 years from now, and I hear voices in my head telling me about getting married and having children, having a house built and cars parked in the garage, having a retirement plan while my kids are living their lives better than I have lived mine. After realizing how much my future is shaped by the perspective of today's society, I finally decided I won't live a life that society tells me I will be happy with. I want to live a life based on my definition of happiness. It's a pretty gutsy thing to say and I know a lot of people will be watching me fail and crawl shamelessly back to the formula, but I think I could live with failure rather than with conformity never questioned. 

I don't see myself getting married anytime soon nor do I see myself having kids in the next decade. Actually, I'm not even sure I'm putting kids in my plan right now. I have other goals and finish lines in mind and that is where all my time and energy will go to. But, if kids happen to join in on the plan somewhere along the way, then that's fine by me. I just don't like marriage and children to be my basis for having a fulfilled life. I could already foresee the number of times I will be asked why I am still not married and why I still don't have kids and because I am the weird person that I am, I have prepared answers to those irritating questions,

Why are you still not married?
Well, I wasn't informed there was a deadline. Actually, I'm pretty sure there isn't one.
What are you waiting for?
Well, I'd like to ask that about your death but that would just be rude. 
Okay, okay, I won't actually say that to my grandma but I will say it in my head. Why the hell should I reason out not doing something... people don't question other things in life because, well, it's rude! So why the hell do they find it okay to be rude to me, and to the rest of the twenty-somethings in this world who are figuring out what they want to do with their life!

Hay, too many feelings! 

No comments: