STORY: Where Did The Holidays Go?

It's the holidays! I know I'm a little too late for a holiday post but what the heck. 

Christmas is so different this year. Actually, I felt it change slowly the past years but the change was so tiny that I could easily brush it off. This year, the change is very apparent. Christmas just wasn't Christmas anymore... well, the Christmas I know, that is.

With no exaggerations, I literally forgot about Christmas. Days leading to the day when all diet rules are broken and rooms are filled with people who like to tell stories of your childhood over and over, I was so buried in work that I was more excited for the holiday break to be over than for the holiday break to come, because I just want to keep going on with the program. It's sad but it's true. 

You might ask, "She can't really forget the holidays. What about the songs on the radio? The christmas lights? The christmas decor? The christmas parties?" Well, I go to work at 9am, so from 6am to that time, I am busy making my hair be the best it can be for the day (since my hair generally dictates my mood for the day) and picking out what to wear... also include the unpredictable traffic to Makati. From 9am until 9pm or 10pm, I am either buried into my laptop or old-office-issued desktop, or inside dark editing rooms in various post-production houses, or in board rooms talking to a speaker having an hour long telecon or, if I'm lucky, eating lunch out with Jose (and I'm talking about the times when we get to eat in places not known as the food court - which most times is the only place I have time for). When I get out after 10pm, some of the Christmas lights are turned out already, and the ones that are left on are just a blur to my tired, radiation-exposed eyes. As for the music, I tried downloading Christmas songs to put me in the mood, but the downloading (sorry, pirate!) took me a week. So by the time I finished my download of 100 of the greatest Christmas songs, it was already Christmas eve. Hooray. Not. As for the Christmas parties, well, I was too distracted by the fear of having to dance in front of everyone (the office initiation for the new hires) that I just forgot it was first and foremost a party, and that the goal was to have a good time. 

During the last day of work for the year, my boss and I returned to the office after a day long interlock with clients. We got up to the office only to find out we were the last ones there... well, except for our mighty producer, who I like to assume is part of our team since I constantly nag her about my projects! :P Anyway, I asked my boss if we could have a quick run through of our to do list so that we know what we should do first when we get back next year. That was when it finally sunk in... we don't have work until next year! People keep talking about it but I never really gave it attention. I was too focused on my deadlines and getting the most done before the offices I need go on break as well. When it finally digested the idea of having a holiday break myself, I couldn't believe it. I thought only schools had those week-long holiday breaks. I thought I had said goodbye to that last year. I thought I would only be getting 24, 25 and January 1st off, but no! I got all days from the 21st to January 1! I guess that's the amazing consolation to the "robbing" of my Christmas spirit away. Haha. I let out a huge sigh as I left the office that night and thought to myself, finally, I'm gonna get myself into the holiday spirit.

But the two days that led to Christmas went by so quickly that I barely caught the day. I had no time the past month to do any Christmas shopping so I had to make up for it in the little time that I had. Jose and I went through shops one after the other from morning until night trying to get everyone a gift during pre-Christmas weekend. I usually look forward to this yearly activity of ours (hello, shopping without the guilt?) but we usually do it gradually and with enough time to really think about our gifts. Now, it felt like a chore. We had a day to get everyone a a present and by the end of the day, we were both tired and cranky and just wanted to get it over with. We managed to get everyone a gift though and I'm still pretty happy about our picks. I hope our loved ones will like it! But again, no Christmas spirit kicking in yet. I was exhausted and just slept through the morning of the 24th.

Come Noche Buena, I didn't feel sad but I wasn't excited either. Actually, remembering what happened that night right now is just sad when I compare it to past years' Noche Buenas. Usually, the street in Laguna would be filled with lights and with each house filled with the neighbors' relatives. Even though we were just visitors of our cousins there, we practically grew up in the neighborhood so we know everyone and everyone knows us. But this year, the street was empty. Our family even lacked a family member who was spending Christmas in another part of the country. It was a great thing I brought my iPod and gave the occasion a little life with my tasteful music (yes, I had to affirm my taste in music. HAHA!) and that we brought our Wii. The highlight of my night was Jose's gift to me which was Just Dance 4 which gave our night about 3-4 hours of entertainment... awesome, cant-get-over-just-dance entertainment! (I SO LOVE YOU JOSE FOR THIS AWESOME GIFT. JUST WHAT I WANTED). Don't get me wrong, okay. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy Christmas, because I did. I had good food, took really nice photos and danced and sweat my heart out. I'm just saying Christmas is different this year and maybe I'm just not very fond of the change. 

I don't know if there is something wrong with me, if I'm just expecting something that just won't happen or I'm just getting old. Maybe it's that times are just really changing. I don't know. I really don't know. It's just sad that I don't know where'd the holidays go.

P.S. I'd post pictures of the stuff I just blogged about but it wouldn't help the narrative. I'm smiling in the photos so you won't feel the Christmas void I'm talking about. Yes, I used the word. Void.

No comments: