STORY: The Year That Was 2012

It's my first post of the year! Yay! Unfortunately, I'm starting this year with a delayed post already(Boohoo). I seem to have lost my blogging rhythm and I don't think it's possible for me to bring the one-blog-post-a-day habit  anymore. I'm just too busy! Never did I imagine that my life could actually become too hectic for me to even blog. Anyway, that's just the way things are now so I'm going to have to live with what little time I can spare to put into writing portions of my life.

Moving forward...

Since it is the new year, it is an unwritten rule for me to talk about the year that was. So allow me to babble about random moments of 2012 that are memorable both for reasons good and bad.

  • I passed my thesis defense. I got a grade better than I prepared myself for, so that was the biggest surprise I brought along with me in the new year of 2012. 
  • I had my first ever end-of-the-world heart break. (I'd like to link my blog posts on this but they are far too many! But okay, read through some here, here and here. Apparently being an emotional mess triggers better writing!) Technically, this isn't the first time, but this is just the time that issues mattered more and I hurt more. But I won't dwell on that any longer. This painful event ate up most of my 2012 and I won't let it touch my 2013. Past is past (Weh?)
  • I GRADUATED. This has got to be the biggest milestone in my life until my wedding day (which I'm hoping is still far in the distance! :P)
  • I made some really good friends. Before college ended, I got to trim down the people I considered  friends. It's amazing how life gives you a friend in the most unexpected personalities, but, I'm thankful all the same. It just made my last months in college all the more memorable, and the first months into employment all the more exciting!
  •  I had my first taste of real fear for my future. After graduation, I have never felt so lost and pressured and scared. Every student knows that one day, he or she will have to face job hunting, but no one really prepares you for the feeling of anxiety and "cluelessness" being thrown into a whole new world feels. It's frightening not knowing what you are going to do for the next month, or week, or day. It was fun the first month after graduation, the 2nd month was okay. But come the third month and you start seeing your batch mates' changing their work status to this and that and yours remains the same, it's just freaking scary! I even had nightmares about not ever getting a job and being a failure in life... yes, I went that far. 
  • I finally got to release  our college yearbook and officially sign off as editor-in-chief. The journey of PAX 2012 was a long and stressful one which is why finally reaching the finish line was every bit of sweet. I couldn't say thank you enough to the people who helped me get this feat done. PAX 2012, you know who you are! We have made history! The fastest yearbook published and delivered in decades. Not a bad legacy to leave behind, huh?

  • I got to go on my first plane ride without an adult... and with Jose! The young couple that we are, officially confirmed that we were going up a relationship level with that move... and that we've officially become treated as adults individually.
  • The first time I had a roundtrip flight all in one day! I felt really bad ass for treating Cebu like it was just Makati. But I don't plan on doing it again, such a waste of airfare! But still, the excitement and adrenaline of trying to squeeze as much activities and places in such a short amount of time was one of the best feelings ever!
  • I finally stepped foot outside Philippine shores. Yes, you heard that right - it is my first time. I finally experienced my first out of the country trip this year, and I definitely enjoyed myself. Disneyland, even if it was just the HK version, was every bit the magical place I dreamt it would be. My dream but-not-really-a-dream-dream is to visit all the Disneyland theme parks in the world. Fingers crossed life is kind enough to make that dream come true! If not, then my heart is perfectly happy with the HK version. :) ------- Anyway, going out of the country really changed my perspective. Everything felt smaller and  it made me realize how much bigger the world is, and how my problems and concerns are so petty. Travel really is meant for more profound things than taking amazing photos... well, what's the harm in having a good profile photo anyway? So, never mind. Hihi.
  • I went to my first real concert. Yes, I am such a dork. The only concerts I've ever been to are the ones in my high school which feature Pinoy rock bands. This concert was for Nicki Minaj Pink Friday tour and came free with my Blackberry line from Globe (refer to next bullet for this) Well, in my defense, I was never really the crowd or music loving type so I never really made an effort to go see a concert. And I didn't really enjoy myself (since I only knew 2-3 songs) so the next one may be in a few years.
  • I got my first phone line! Yes, I felt so adult-like when I got myself a Globe line and started paying my "bill" all on my own. The fact that something is billed to me makes me feel so grown up!
  • I got my first job! After weeks of waiting indefinitely for agencies I sent resumes to to respond, I finally got a call from one. I went through the process for that sole agency that called me and I got the job. I didn't bother finding out or following up on the other agencies I applied for (I actually will never know since I changed my mobile number a month later as mentioned in one of the bullets above), I just took the first one that came to me and stuck with it. But don't get me wrong, I am honored to be part of the company I'm in, people who knows the industry even congratulate me for just being in the company. Yeah, it's a huge deal like that. Hihi.
  • I dyed my hair for the first time! And I had it done in the craziest colors - green and blue! It was the most spontaneous thing I ever did alone in my life, and it was one that I stuck with for the months that followed. Actually, it's been almost 6 months since that crazy day at the salon and I am still loving my decision. :) However, the original green and blue has morphed into ugly shades of yellow and gold so I had to dye it again. The 2nd time though, I opted for bright red. I love the new color even more! It's fading already so I better start thinking what color I should dye my hair next. Purple?
  • I got into "fashion" this year. I suddenly liked dressing up and thinking more than the usual on what clothes I'm going to wear. Maybe it's because I don't have a uniform to wear everyday and I try not to repeat clothes, at least until after 3 weeks. I also enjoy shopping more and I have become less "kuripot." I think jose rubbed off some of some of his spending ways on me already.Yikes! Well, it's my way to destress so I guess my shopping pays for my sanity, so if you think about it, I'm really spending to keep everyone safe from me going crazy! Hihi. 
  • I went through some serious real quarter life crisis. Apparently, changing everything you've known (goodbye school where everyone tells you that you will make it big, hello office where you have to constantly prove you deserve to be where you are) causes you to rethink your life choices. For a few months, around August to November, I seriously felt lost and unsatisfied and hopeless for my future. All the "I want work I love. I won't sell out" I keep telling myself and everyone felt like serious BS. I wanted out. I even thought of taking the easy way out (Oh the shame in admitting I was a quitter!) I can't believe I went that low. I always knew that I wasn't that type of girl. I was the determined and persevering type who loves challenges and who loves new things, but I really went to that lonely, disappointing place. I doubted my passions and told myself I might have just been fooling myself all this time. That the things I thought I excelled at were all lies. I cried some nights, I took out my rage on others on other nights, but most times I blogged about it here, here and here. And guess what, the blogging helped and now, I'm back on my feet and determined not to go back to that dark, dark place. 
  • Of course, along with the first job comes a string of firsts - first paycheck, first failure, first "good job" from a higher up, first office friends, first lunch out with office friends, first office parties, first projects, first airing commercial, first desk, first official email address, first office ID, first OT, first Vacation Leave, first boss, etc. There has been so many firsts during the latter part of 2012 that I might just spend the first half of 2013 trying to keep up with all the changes! I'd like to say I'm loving it, but when things go grinding and OT stretches until midnight and I just don't know what to do with myself, "loving it" doesn't seem so fitting. Hihi. 
Some photos grabbed from Facebook. Credits to the respective owners
  • I had my first birthday treat for the family! It felt real nice to be the one who treats the family out and not be the one treated to a free meal. I have a feeling my move meant that I will no longer see free birthday dinners in the future. Haha. You know you are officially an adult when you spend for your birthday and no longer do people spend for you. Hooray? 
  • I got to meet Zac Efron! Well, I didn't really meet him but I got so close to him, it felt like I did. This has got to be my most extreme fan moment and I didn't expect myself to react the way I did. My lengthy blog post will make you understand. Full of feelings! Hihi
  • I finally took driving lessons! Yes, I am officially learning to drive with my 2nd student's permit. My first attempt at learning how to drive was a flop. My student permit already expired and all and I still didn't get any lessons. This time around, I was determined to get behind the wheel and conquer the streets of Metro Manila! So yes, I am done with my driving lessons and I am currently making my dad and Jose take turns at getting heart attacks by sitting with me and helping me perfect my driving skills. 
  • We got a new car! Well, it's a second hand CRV but it's still new to us... so yay! Actually, it was I who pushed for this purchase, I just really want to drive already and I can't do that if I don't have a car I can drive. I even went as far as paying for the car's expenses. It was painful to spend such big amount of money, but it was worth it. I feel very proud of myself every time I see that car. Anyway, I wanted to call the car Noisy Boy, like in the film Real Steel, since the car is a bright blue and has a very noisy engine but no... my family baptized the car, Bogart. So, I guess that's that. Hayayayay.
There are a lot more smaller triumphs and failures in the past year which contribute to this conclusion: 2012 was CRAZY. I can't say it was the best year because that title still belongs to 2011, but this definitely is one I am grateful for all the same. Year 2012 made me feel and do things I never thought I would. I felt hatred for the world, I questioned my faith and values, I doubted people, I wanted revenge, I felt paranoid, but I also felt relief from finally closing a chapter in my life, I felt excitement from all the new experiences, I learned more than I ever imagined I could within a short amount of time, I opened myself to new people, I tried to loosen up and take life one day at a time, I truly forgave, and I loved more and I loved deeply. 

For me, one of the most important years in a person's life is her early 20s. No other period in your lifetime will you be faced with as much questions, decisions, changes and realizations as you will in this moment of your life. And since the beginning of the rest of my life fell on 2012, then 2012 is really awesome just for that. 

The world didn't end last year and we should take this is as a challenge to us 20 somethings to prove that the world should keep on going. That we are out to make something better of this world, if not for everyone, then at least for ourselves. And how fortunate is it that we have a song to remember this time by? Sweet.

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