STORY: I Never Learn

It's like I never learn. This isn't the first time I had to deal with "withdrawal" yet I still commit the same mistakes. I keep running back to the thing I am supposedly running away from. And that is not helping "withdrawing" one bit.

I keep myself updated any way I know how about where you are and what you're doing. I'm not sure why I want to be updated when what I should want is to forget... but deep inside I know that I just want to see a sign that you miss me, too. That you too are waiting for my next post, or upload, or tweet in the blind hope that it's about you. 

But so far, my hidden agenda has brought me to more disappointment, sadness and pain. Because from all the things I see, it looks like life has become better without me. That all these posts I keep myself updated with about you is simply updating me that I am already an outdated piece of you.

It already hurts me to think about the possibility of you being capable of erasing me. So it hurts even more now that I can see proof of this dreadful thought. 

I know I should stop looking. I should have learned from the past 2 or 3 times... 

But I just never learn.

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