THEORY: Figuring It Out

"You must face the age of not believing
Doubting ev'rything you ever knew
Until at last you start believing
There's something wonderful...
Truly wonderful in you"

Sometimes, I envy people who got it all figured out. I rarely get puzzled about how people get as wealthy, as smart or as pretty as they are, but I am always very curious as to how those who figured out who they are and what they want to do with their lives got to where they are. And when I say "figured out," I don't necessarily mean wealth, fame and success. I just mean being at peace with oneself with where one is and where one is headed. I mean, is there a crash course to this somewhere? There seems to be one on getting rich, getting famous and getting pretty already! 

But the again, I've gathered enough sense at this point to make myself realize that crash courses will bring about no good (like all crash diets!), so scratch that last idea. And besides, I bet that the long way is one of the biggest reasons these people who got it figured out actually found how to figure it out! 

Side note: This is such a confusing post. Too many repetition of words with everything else just me rambling about some random thought on a Friday night. 

Anyway, I've just been feeling quite lost these past few days. I just made this very big step towards this new path I "feel" is the road to a version of me that has got it all figured out. But after I closed my eyes and took a blind leap of faith (in myself!), I suddenly get all these after shock jitters. I have been very uneasy and worried as to whether I made the leap towards the right direction or if I should have taken the leap at all. I am so scared right now that I'm actually thinking whether the general feeling of unhappiness and being out of place I was feeling before is better than the anxiety I'm feeling right now.

But then again, I have Pocahontas to tell me otherwise...

"What I love most about rivers is:
You can't step in the same river twice
The water's always changing, always flowing 
But people, I guess, can't live like that 
We all must pay a price 
To be safe, we lose our chance of ever knowing
What's around the river bend, waiting just around the river bend"

I trust Pocahontas (although she did end up sacrificing the love of her life!), so bahala na! Fingers crossed that I don't have to take a leap back and that this after shock jitters go away soon!

P.S. Seriously, whoever believes that Disney is for children never truly looked, listened and understood what it is all about. But that's a topic for another day.

P.P.S. With me, there is just never ending anger with the world! Haha. I'm funny and nice talaga, believe me. I'm not always this angsty.

P.P.P.S And just because my blog post title is screaming for it, here is the opening sequence of my favorite Disney live action series of all time...

"If you believe
That we've got a picture-perfect plan
We've got you fooled 
'Cause we only do the best we can
And sometimes we make it
And sometimes we fake it
But we're gettin' one step closer each and everyday
We'll figure it out on the way"

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