I don't think I've ever stalled anything longer than I have these past few months. I'm so afraid that the result of my decision will be unfavorable that I've been dodging anything that will bring me close to any sort of confirmation.
This is crazy. I'm running away from the same thing I'm running to. In short, I've been running in circles. I'm trying to buy myself more time so I can decide if it really is time to fight or flee.
Although I'm sensing that more time isn't really helping...but still, I hope I buy myself another week. I feel safer in the dark. I find relief in not knowing, for now.
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This is our usual morning routine. Mom would share whatever news she has to me while I get ready in the morning, which I actually welcome since it is my version of the morning news which I hardly get to watch these days. Everything was fine until she added that my brother should've learned to drive years ago. My brother is 20 and I learned to drive at 21. I told her that and asked her what the issue was. She said it's "different" with boys. She said that they should learn earlier on and, in an implied way, that girls don't really need to.