STORY: Run away and read

I don't know why I'm yearning to get away from everything when I'm just on my first day back to work from a 5-day holiday. It doesn't make sense. I guess my body has a mind of its own and just can't wrap itself around the idea that vacations are vacations because they have to end.

Anyway, I've been fantasizing all morning about
my next escape. Unlike my usual daydreams filled with adventurous escapades, I find myself wanting to find a spot in a quiet, forgotten and peaceful place where I can be left alone to read my book. It's not that I'm eager to finish the book because I know how it ends already (I'm rereading Catching Fire). I just want to fully immerse myself in the book and enjoy every detail. Be able to stop and stare blankly for as long as I want when a chapter just hits me and be able to speed through the pages without anyone calling me to do something else.

But I'm here at the escalator on the way to my desk. Guess no running away is happening today.

THEORY: Eager Beaver

I have a love/hate relationship with new years. 

I hate that I have to scramble to remember where I left things off last year. I hate that I have to relearn the rhythm of my everyday life. I hate that I have to leave holiday mode. I hate the heavy feeling of waking up before 10am on the first day back to work. 

But even with all those things I hate, I can't help but love it still. 

I love how it gives me the feeling of second chances, even if I don't need it. I love how it flushes out everything from last year, the good and the bad. I love that it gives me a fresh start. By the middle or end of the year, it's too late to make any drastic changes to your routine. It's too complicated, with so many strings attached to every part of your life. But come the new year, you can make as many changes as you want without worrying as much. You can change your diet, your fashion choices, your circle of friends, all because everyone else is, too! I love how it gives me hope that the bad things will be good and the good things will be even better. I love how it gives me the feeling of courage and renewal. I love how it makes me reflect on where I am now and makes me think of the future. Come mid-year, everyone is so into their everyday lives that the most that they can plan for is the next day. But with the new year, everyone is well-rested, and with more time than they can allot for sleeping and eating that they are actually forced to reflect. I love it!

STORY: Awesome 2014

I don't want to start the new year forcing myself to find inspiration to do what I actually really love. That's no way to start the year. But I guess I can't always get what I want, huh? 

Right now, I'm struggling to find enough gusto to write this "year-ender" (even if it is no longer year end) post to keep up with my now 2-year tradition. I used to love blogging. I actually still do but finding the energy and will power to actually do it has become increasingly difficult through the years. I feel that all the extra time and strength I get are automatically allotted to mindless, relaxing stuff like sleeping or watching movies. So anything other than that takes so much effort to even start doing. But I need to change that. I want to be more productive. I want to constantly work on the things I know I'm good at. I don't want to lose the "fire" inside of me. So, I will fan whatever is left of the flame in me and get through this post. Hopefully, this will set the tone for the rest of the year.

As usual in my year-end posts, I list down all the things I've experienced and learned, even the people I've met and said goodbye to. I'll try to be as organized as I can but since this post really is just for my own self-reflection, it wouldn't really matter. Here we go.